Know My Name: A Memoir for Every Survivor Who's Ever Felt Silenced
“To not be named is to not be known. To not be known is to not be seen.” — Chanel Miller
I had the pleasure of attending Arise, the Annual fundraiser for the YWCA, focused on gathering members of the Grand Rapids community and sharing their mission for healing. They hosted guest speaker, Chanel Miller. She is a brave, articulate, leader who shared parts of her journey during this event. Thankfully, I was encouraged to read her book prior to attending the event, and learned the details of her experience and her healing journey. I would encourage therapists, clients, parents, friends and community members to read her story and know her name.
If you are a survivor of sexual assault, Know My Name is a book that may feel like someone finally put your experience into words — the pain, the confusion, the injustice, the quiet strength it takes to survive day after day.
In her groundbreaking memoir, Chanel Miller tells the story of how she went from being “Emily Doe” — the anonymous woman in a high-profile assault case — to reclaiming her name, her voice, and her life. Her words don’t just speak to what happened to her. They speak to what it means to live through trauma — and keep living anyway.
This is not just a story of pain. It’s a story of resistance, healing, and reclaiming identity.
From Silence to Voice
For years, the world only knew her as a victim. The media focused on her attacker. Headlines repeated his name, his potential, his losses. Meanwhile, Chanel Miller stayed anonymous. Her story was told about her, but not by her.
That changes in Know My Name.
This memoir is her answer — not just to the courts, or the media, but to every person who’s ever been asked to stay quiet, to get over it, or to carry shame that doesn’t belong to them.
Chanel writes about the night of her assault with raw honesty. She writes about the broken legal system that re-traumatized her. And she writes about putting her life back together — piece by piece, word by word.
This Book Was Written for You
Whether you’re years into healing or just beginning to face what happened, Know My Name offers something powerful: recognition.
You may see yourself in her fear. In her disbelief. In the endless court delays. In the way people asked the wrong questions. In the way her identity was erased, edited, or doubted.
But you’ll also see her strength. Her humor. Her creativity. Her fire. You’ll see a survivor who refused to stay silent — and in doing so, helped others find their voice too.
What Trauma Really Feels Like — And What Healing Can Look Like
Chanel Miller doesn’t shy away from showing the full picture of trauma:
🌀 The confusion
🗣️ The silence
💤 The exhaustion
❓The constant second-guessing
💔 The heartbreak of not being believed
But she also shows how healing begins — sometimes in small, quiet moments:
Writing in a journal
Drawing something that speaks when words won’t
Feeling anger and allowing it, rather than suppressing it
Letting yourself be a full person — not just someone something happened to
Her story is proof that recovery isn’t a straight line. It’s a messy, courageous, deeply human process — and you don’t have to do it all at once.
Why Naming Matters
There’s a reason Chanel titled her book Know My Name. Reclaiming her name was an act of power.
So many survivors are made to feel invisible — referred to as “the victim,” reduced to a statistic, or pressured to stay anonymous. But being seen is part of healing. Naming yourself — even just to yourself — is a way of saying, I exist. I matter. I get to tell my own story.
You don’t have to go public like Chanel did. You don’t owe anyone that. But her story reminds us that our identities are ours to define, not something trauma gets to take away.
What This Book Gives You That the System Often Doesn’t
Too often, survivors are met with disbelief, blame, or silence. The legal system, schools, workplaces — even families — can get it painfully wrong. And when they do, it hurts all over again.
Chanel’s story shows what that kind of systemic re-traumatization looks like: the invasive questions, the lack of control, the endless waiting, the reduced humanity. But it also offers a way through.
What you may not get from a courtroom or an institution, you can find in this book:
Validation: Your story is real. Your pain is real.
Recognition: You are not alone in this.
Empowerment: You are more than what happened to you.
You Are More Than a Victim
Chanel is not just a survivor. She’s a writer, an artist, a sister, a friend, a thinker, a woman who laughs and makes jokes and creates beautiful things. This is a powerful reminder:
You are not defined by your trauma.
You are whole — even when you don’t feel like it. You are allowed joy, creativity, love, rage, softness, and strength.
Chanel’s story invites us to remember who we are, not just what we’ve endured.
Why Know My Name Stays With You
This is not an easy book, but it is an important one. It helps you feel seen — in all your complexity. It doesn’t wrap things up with false hope or quick fixes. Instead, it offers truth — and the reminder that healing is possible, even if it’s slow. Even if it doesn’t look like what you thought it would.
It’s a book that says:
You don’t have to be silent.
You don’t have to carry shame.
You don’t have to heal on anyone else’s timeline.
Final Thoughts
Know My Name is more than a memoir — it’s a companion for survivors who are trying to put words to what they’ve lived through. Chanel Miller helps break the silence — not just for herself, but for anyone who’s ever felt invisible, unheard, or unworthy of justice.
If you're ready, let her story walk beside yours. Not to tell you how to heal, but to remind you that you can.
And maybe that you already are.
