Friendship Matters: A Guide for Teens and Young Adults

Friendships during the teen and young adult years can feel like everything. Friends are the people you laugh with, lean on, and sometimes fight with. They can be a source of joy and belonging, but also of stress or confusion. The good news is that the skills of making, keeping, and being a good friend can be learned and strengthened, just like any other life skill.

Research shows that close friendships in adolescence and young adulthood are strongly linked to better mental health, greater resilience, and even physical well-being later in life (Allen et al., 2015; Bagwell & Schmidt, 2011). In short: the effort you put into building and nurturing friendships is an investment in your long-term happiness and health.

How to Make Friends

Making new friends can feel intimidating, but psychologists note that friendship often grows from repeated, low-pressure contact (Parks & Floyd, 1996). Think of it as planting seeds: with time and care, connections deepen.

• Start with shared activities. Join clubs, sports, study groups, or volunteer opportunities. Shared interests naturally create opportunities for connection.

• Show openness through body language. Smile, make eye contact, and use small gestures of friendliness. These cues invite others in.

• Practice small talk. Even a simple, “Hey, how was your weekend?” can open the door to deeper conversations.

• Be patient. Not every attempt at connection turns into friendship. That’s normal. Keep trying.

How to Keep Friends

Research suggests that the quality—not the number—of friendships matters most (Bukowski et al., 2019). To keep friendships strong:

• Stay consistent. Regular check-ins—texts, calls, hanging out—help maintain closeness.

• Balance give and take. Healthy friendships involve both support and reciprocity.

• Repair conflicts. Disagreements are normal. What matters is being willing to apologize, forgive, and move forward.

• Respect boundaries. Everyone needs space at times. Honoring that keeps friendships healthy.

How to Be a Good Friend

Being a good friend is less about grand gestures and more about everyday actions. Research on social support shows that feeling truly understood by a friend is one of the most powerful predictors of relationship satisfaction (Reis et al., 2004).

• Listen more than you talk. Sometimes the best support is simply being present.

• Show empathy. Try to see things from your friend’s perspective.

• Celebrate wins and comfort losses. Being there in both good and hard times deepens trust.

• Encourage growth. Good friends support each other’s goals and push each other toward healthier choices.

Other Helpful Guidelines for Friendships

• Quality over quantity. Having one or two close friends often matters more than having a large social circle.

• Online friendships can be real friendships. Digital connections can be meaningful, but balance them with in-person interactions for deeper bonds.

• Friendships change and that’s okay. As you grow, your needs and values shift. Some friendships fade while others strengthen. This is a normal part of life.

• Know when a friendship isn’t healthy. If a friendship is consistently one-sided, controlling, or harmful, it’s okay to set boundaries or step away.

Holding On to Hope

Making and keeping friends can be challenging, especially in the teen and young adult years when so much else is changing. But remember: friendships don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. By showing up with openness, kindness, and patience, you give yourself (and others) the chance to build meaningful connections that last.

Friendship is one of the most important “life skills” we ever learn. And like any skill, it gets stronger the more we practice.

Parenting with Purpose: Evidence-Based Tips for Raising Resilient Kids

Parenting is one of the most rewarding, and most challenging, jobs in the world. Every parent wants their child to feel safe, loved, and supported, but knowing exactly how to provide that day-to-day can be overwhelming. The good news? Research in child development and psychology has given us clear insights into what helps children thrive.

Below are evidence-based parenting practices, like consistency, structure, and effective responses to behavior, that can support healthier family dynamics and happier kids.

The Power of Consistency

Children thrive when they know what to expect. Research consistently shows that predictable routines and consistent responses reduce behavior problems and promote emotional regulation (McLoyd et al., 2007).

• Why it works: Consistency provides children with a sense of safety and stability.

• How to do it: Follow through with what you say. If bedtime is 8:00, keep it close to that each night. If a consequence is set, calmly enforce it.

Schedules and Routines

Routines aren’t just about order, they’re about security. A study in the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics found that children with regular family routines show higher levels of social-emotional health (Ferretti & Bub, 2017).

• Why it works: Routines reduce uncertainty, lower stress, and build habits.

• How to do it: Establish predictable rhythms for meals, schoolwork, play, and bedtime. Flexibility is fine, but a general structure helps kids feel grounded.

Responding to Behaviors

Children’s behaviors are a form of communication. How parents respond, both to positive and challenging behaviors, shapes what kids learn about themselves and the world.

Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is one of the most powerful parenting tools. Research shows that children repeat behaviors that are followed by attention or reward (Skinner, 1953).

• Why it works: Praise and encouragement strengthen desired behaviors.

• How to do it: Be specific. Instead of “Good job,” say “I really appreciate how you shared your toys with your sister.”

Negative Reinforcement vs. Punishment

Negative reinforcement often gets confused with punishment. Negative reinforcement means removing something unpleasant when a child behaves appropriately (for example, stopping nagging once homework is done). Punishment, on the other hand, introduces an unpleasant consequence to reduce unwanted behavior.

• Why it works (when used thoughtfully): Research suggests that positive reinforcement is more effective long-term than punishment (Gershoff, 2013). However, clear and calm consequences for harmful behaviors help children understand limits.

• How to do it: Focus on reinforcing positive behaviors most of the time. Use punishment sparingly and never harshly—natural and logical consequences are usually most effective.

Emotional Connection Comes First

Even with structure and discipline, the parent-child relationship is the foundation. Attachment theory research shows that children who feel securely connected to caregivers are more resilient and better able to manage emotions (Bowlby, 1988).

• How to do it: Spend intentional time together, listen to your child’s perspective, and show empathy, even when setting boundaries.

Putting It All Together

Effective parenting blends warmth with structure. Here’s a quick formula backed by research:

• Be consistent in routines and follow-through.

• Use positive reinforcement generously.

• Apply consequences calmly and fairly when needed.

• Maintain a strong emotional connection through listening, empathy, and time together.

Parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about presence and persistence. Even small, consistent steps toward structure and connection create lasting benefits for your child’s well-being.

Your everyday choices, how you respond, how you connect, how you guide, are shaping your child’s resilience and self-worth in powerful ways.

Supporting Your Teen Through Self-Harm: A Guide for Parents

Few things are more frightening for a parent than discovering that their child is engaging in self-harm, such as cutting. You may feel shocked, confused, heartbroken, or even guilty. These reactions are natural, but what matters most is how you respond moving forward.

Self-harm is not about seeking attention or manipulation. It’s usually a coping strategy: a way to release overwhelming emotions or gain a sense of control. While it may bring temporary relief, it can quickly become a dangerous cycle. Research shows that adolescents who self-harm are at higher risk for depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts (Muehlenkamp & Kerr, 2010). Early, compassionate intervention can make a critical difference.

Why Teens Engage in Self-Harm

Teens may turn to cutting or other forms of self-harm for different reasons:

• To cope with intense emotions (anger, sadness, numbness)

• To feel relief from emotional pain or tension

• To express feelings they can’t put into words

• To regain a sense of control when life feels chaotic

• To punish themselves due to guilt or shame

Understanding the “why” doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it helps shift your perspective from anger or fear to compassion and support.

Warning Signs of Self-Harm and Escalation

Be alert for:

• Unexplained cuts, burns, or scars (often on arms, thighs, or stomach)

• Wearing long sleeves or pants even in hot weather

• Frequent “accidents” or excuses for injuries

• Withdrawal from friends, activities, or family

• Sharp mood swings, irritability, or emotional numbness

• Items like razors, glass, or lighters kept hidden

Red flags for escalation or suicide risk include:

• Talking about hopelessness or wanting to die

• Expressing feelings of being a burden

• Increased frequency or severity of self-harm

• Combining self-harm with substance use

If you suspect suicidal intent, seek help immediately, call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.) or go to the nearest emergency room.

How Parents Can Respond

1. Stay Calm

Your initial response sets the tone. It’s natural to feel panicked, but showing shock or anger can push your teen further into secrecy.

2. Approach With Compassion

Try:

• “I noticed some cuts on your arm. I want you to know I love you and I’m here to listen, not judge.”

• “It seems like you’re in a lot of pain. I may not understand everything you’re feeling, but I want to.”

3. Listen Without Trying to Fix Immediately

Teens need to feel heard before they’re ready to accept help. Avoid lecturing or minimizing (e.g., “You don’t need to do this” or “It’s just a phase”).

4. Encourage Professional Support

Self-harm often signals underlying emotional struggles like depression, trauma, or anxiety. Evidence-based treatments such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are highly effective in reducing self-harm (Mehlum et al., 2016). Encourage your teen to connect with a therapist experienced in these approaches.

5. Promote Healthy Coping Strategies

Help your teen experiment with safer outlets for intense emotions, such as:

• Physical activity (running, yoga, punching a pillow)

• Creative expression (art, journaling, music)

• Sensory tools (holding ice, snapping a rubber band, using grounding techniques)

• Relaxation practices (deep breathing, mindfulness)

6. Create a Safer Environment

Limit access to sharp objects, medications, or other tools of self-harm when possible. This isn’t about controlling your teen—it’s about reducing risk while healthier coping strategies are built.

Scripts Parents Can Use

• Opening a conversation:
  “I’ve noticed you seem really down lately, and I care about you. Can we talk about what’s been going on?”

• Responding to disclosure:
  “Thank you for telling me. That must have been hard to share. I’m glad you trusted me with this.”

• Encouraging professional help:
  “I think talking with a therapist could really help. We don’t have to figure everything out alone, and you deserve support.”

• Setting safety expectations:
  “I want to work with you to make things safer at home. Let’s come up with a plan together that feels supportive, not controlling.”

Taking Care of Yourself as a Parent

Supporting a child who self-harms is emotionally exhausting. Seek support for yourself—whether through counseling, support groups, or trusted friends. When you are grounded, you can better offer stability for your teen.

Final Thoughts

Self-harm is a sign of deep emotional pain—not a reflection of your child’s worth, or your failure as a parent. With compassion, professional support, and patience, healing is possible. Many teens who struggle with self-harm go on to build fulfilling, resilient lives.

The most powerful message you can give your teen is this: You are not alone, and we will get through this together.

The Hidden Risks of Pornography Exposure for Kids and Teens

In today’s digital world, children and teens have unprecedented access to the internet, and with it, exposure to pornography at younger ages than ever before. Research suggests that the average age of first exposure is now between 11 and 13 years old, often through accidental encounters on smartphones or social media (Owens et al., 2012).

While discussions about pornography can feel uncomfortable, it’s a critical mental health and developmental issue. Exposure during key stages of brain and identity development can have lasting impacts on how young people view themselves, relationships, and sexuality.

Why Pornography Exposure Matters

Adolescence is a time of exploration, curiosity, and identity formation. The brain is especially sensitive to rewards, novelty, and social learning. Because of this, pornography isn’t just entertainment — it can shape beliefs, expectations, and behaviors in powerful ways.

1. Unrealistic Expectations

Pornography often portrays sex as performance-based, focused on physical gratification, and disconnected from intimacy or consent. For young viewers, this can create distorted beliefs about what healthy relationships and sexual experiences should look like (Peter & Valkenburg, 2016).

2. Impact on Brain Development

The adolescent brain is wired for novelty-seeking, and sexual content is particularly stimulating. Repeated exposure can reinforce reward pathways in ways that increase impulsivity and risk-taking (Kraus et al., 2016). Some teens may struggle with compulsive use, which can interfere with school, sleep, and social life.

3. Objectification and Gender Attitudes

Studies show that pornography use is associated with greater acceptance of sexual objectification, rigid gender roles, and even aggressive attitudes toward women (Wright et al., 2016). For boys, this may normalize aggression; for girls, it can foster pressure to conform to unrealistic standards.

4. Mental Health Links

Research has connected early or heavy pornography use to:

• Higher levels of anxiety and depression (Rissel et al., 2017).

• Lower self-esteem and body image issues, especially in girls.

• Greater risk of loneliness, secrecy, and shame.

5. Relationship Consequences

For teens just beginning to form intimate relationships, pornography may reduce satisfaction with real-life partners and undermine the development of healthy communication and consent (Brown & L’Engle, 2009).

What Parents and Caregivers Can Do

Completely shielding children from online pornography is nearly impossible, but there are evidence-based steps that help reduce harm:

• Start the conversation early: Age-appropriate discussions about healthy relationships, consent, and respect should begin before adolescence. When parents talk openly, kids are less likely to internalize shame or misinformation.

• Normalize curiosity: Acknowledge that sexual curiosity is normal, but explain why pornography is not a healthy teacher.

• Teach digital literacy: Help kids understand that what they see online — including pornography — is often unrealistic and scripted.

• Set boundaries: Use parental controls, device-free bedrooms at night, and clear family expectations about internet use.

• Model healthy attitudes: Kids absorb cues from parents. Modeling respect, healthy communication, and boundaries in relationships has lasting impact.

• Offer ongoing support: If a child discloses exposure or struggle, respond with calm and openness. Punishment often drives secrecy, while support opens the door to guidance.

The Takeaway

Pornography exposure is not a fringe issue, it’s a widespread reality for today’s kids and teens. While curiosity about sex is natural, the risks of pornography lie in how it can distort expectations, impact brain development, and shape unhealthy beliefs about relationships and intimacy.

By combining open conversations, clear boundaries, and digital literacy, parents and professionals can help children navigate this reality with resilience and healthier understanding.

References

• Brown, J. D., & L’Engle, K. L. (2009). X-rated: Sexual attitudes and behaviors associated with U.S. early adolescents’ exposure to sexually explicit media. Communication Research, 36(1), 129–151.

• Kraus, S. W., Voon, V., & Potenza, M. N. (2016). Neurobiology of compulsive sexual behavior: Emerging science. Neuropsychopharmacology, 41(1), 385–386.

• Owens, E. W., Behun, R. J., Manning, J. C., & Reid, R. C. (2012). The impact of internet pornography on adolescents: A review of the research. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 19(1–2), 99–122.

• Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2016). Adolescents and pornography: A review of 20 years of research. The Journal of Sex Research, 53(4–5), 509–531.

• Rissel, C., Richters, J., de Visser, R. O., McKee, A., Yeung, A., & Caruana, T. (2017). A profile of pornography users in Australia: Findings from the second Australian study of health and relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 54(2), 227–240.

• Wright, P. J., Tokunaga, R. S., & Kraus, A. (2016). A meta-analysis of pornography consumption and actual acts of sexual aggression in general population studies. Journal of Communication, 66(1), 183–205.

App Safety for Kids and Teens: What Parents Need to Know

In today’s digital world, apps are woven into daily life. They connect us, entertain us, and even support learning. For kids and teens, though, apps can also open doors to risks that parents may not see right away. As a parent, you don’t need to be a tech expert to help your child navigate safelu. you just need awareness, curiosity, and a commitment to staying connected.

Why App Safety Matters

Research shows that children and adolescents spend an average of 5–8 hours a day online, much of it on apps (Common Sense Media, 2021). While many apps are harmless or even beneficial, some carry risks like:

• Exposure to inappropriate content (sexual, violent, or harmful material)

• Cyberbullying and harassment

• Predatory behavior and grooming by adults pretending to be peers

• Privacy risks—apps often collect and share personal data

• Negative impacts on mental health, including increased anxiety, depression, or body image concerns (Twenge & Campbell, 2018)

Understanding these risks doesn’t mean banning apps altogether; it means helping your child use them thoughtfully and safely.

Apps That Deserve Extra Caution

While risks exist on many platforms, certain apps consistently raise concerns among child safety experts:

• Anonymous chat apps (e.g., Yik Yak, Whisper, Omegle): anonymity increases the risk of bullying, sexual content, and predatory contact.

• Disappearing message apps (e.g., Snapchat): disappearing messages can encourage risky sharing and make monitoring difficult.

• Location-sharing apps (e.g., Snapchat’s Snap Map, some gaming apps): can expose kids’ real-time location to peers—or strangers.

• Image- and video-heavy apps (e.g., TikTok, Instagram): while popular, they can fuel unhealthy comparisons, body image struggles, and exposure to inappropriate content.

• Gaming apps with chat features (e.g., Roblox, Discord, Fortnite): often fun and social, but chat functions can expose kids to harassment or predatory behavior.

It’s not that every child will encounter these risks, but knowing where the vulnerabilities lie helps you guide safer use.

Evidence-Based Strategies for Parents

1. Stay Involved, Not Invasive

Research shows that parental monitoring, when done with warmth and respect, reduces risky online behaviors (Livingstone & Helsper, 2008). Instead of secret surveillance, try shared conversations: “Which apps do you like most? Can you show me how they work?”

2. Talk About Digital Citizenship Early and Often

Kids benefit from open discussions about kindness, respect, and safety online. Normalize conversations about cyberbullying, sexting, or pressure to share personal information before these situations arise.

3. Use Parental Controls Wisely

Tools like screen time limits, app usage reports, and filtering software can help. But they work best when paired with trust and ongoing dialogue, not as the only line of defense.

4. Model Healthy Tech Habits

Children learn as much from what you do as what you say. Demonstrating balanced screen use, unplugging at family meals, and setting phone-free times shows them what healthy boundaries look like.

5. Encourage Critical Thinking

Instead of just saying “Don’t use that app,” help your teen think critically: “What information is this app asking for? Who could see what you share here? How might this affect you later?” Empowering kids to evaluate risks builds resilience.

6. Know When to Seek Help

If you notice sudden withdrawal, secretive online behavior, or signs of anxiety, depression, or bullying, it may be time to seek professional support. Therapists, pediatricians, or school counselors can help you and your child navigate these challenges.

A Balanced Approach

The goal isn’t to create fear or ban every app, it’s to equip kids and teens to use technology safely and wisely. Apps can be powerful tools for creativity, learning, and connection. With open communication, reasonable limits, and ongoing awareness, you can help your child build a healthy relationship with technology.

Parent Resource Box: Where to Turn for Guidance

• Common Sense Media – Trusted reviews and safety ratings for apps, games, movies, and more.

• National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s CyberTipline – A resource to report online exploitation and get support.

• Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI) – Research, tools, and guides for parents navigating the digital world.

• StopBullying.gov – Practical resources for handling and preventing cyberbullying.

• American Academy of Pediatrics – Media Safety Guidelines – Evidence-based recommendations on children’s media use.

Parenting a Teen with Disordered Eating

Parenting a teenager is never simple, but when your child is struggling with an eating disorder (or showing signs of disordered eating) the stakes feel higher, the worries sharper, and the path forward less clear. You may find yourself walking on eggshells, unsure whether to step in, step back, or how to help at all. If you’re in this place, you are not alone, and there is hope.

Understanding the Landscape of Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are not a phase or a choice. They are serious mental health conditions with physical, emotional, and social consequences. Research shows that early intervention significantly improves outcomes (National Institute of Mental Health, 2021). Even patterns of disordered eating, such as restrictive dieting, binge eating, or compulsive exercise, can increase the risk of developing a full eating disorder and should be taken seriously.

Adolescence is a particularly vulnerable time. Body image concerns, peer comparisons, and social media pressures collide with a developmental drive for independence. Genetics, temperament, and family stress can all play a role. Recognizing that these are complex, multifactorial conditions can help shift the focus from blame to understanding.

The Power of Parental Support

Parents sometimes fear they’ll “make things worse” by saying the wrong thing. But research consistently highlights the vital role of family in recovery. Family-Based Treatment (FBT), for example, is one of the most evidence-supported approaches for adolescents with anorexia nervosa (Lock & Le Grange, 2015). It empowers parents to take an active role in supporting healthy eating while gradually returning control to the teen as they heal.

Even outside formal treatment, parental warmth, consistency, and non-judgmental support make a profound difference. Your teen may push back, but your presence and calm persistence communicate safety in the storm.

Practical Ways to Support Your Teen

1. Foster open communication.
Use curiosity rather than confrontation. Instead of “You have to eat more,” try “I notice meals feel stressful for you lately—can you help me understand what’s hardest right now?” Listening without immediate correction builds trust. The communication should not be around food and eating, but instead about emotions.

2. Be mindful of language around food and body.
Teens are deeply sensitive to how adults talk about dieting, weight, or “good” versus “bad” foods. Aim for a neutral, flexible approach that emphasizes nourishment, balance, and enjoyment.

3. Create a supportive mealtime environment.
Regular family meals have been linked to lower rates of disordered eating (Neumark-Sztainer et al., 2010). Keep meals as calm as possible, focusing on connection rather than control.

4. Collaborate with professionals.
Early evaluation by a pediatrician, therapist, or dietitian with expertise in eating disorders is key. Don’t wait for things to feel “bad enough.” A professional team can provide medical monitoring, therapy, and nutritional guidance.

5. Care for yourself, too.
Parents often neglect their own well-being while trying to help their child. Yet your steadiness is part of your teen’s recovery. Seeking your own support through therapy, support groups, or community so you stay grounded.

Holding on to Hope

Recovery is not linear. There will be setbacks, and moments of frustration or fear. But research shows that with the right treatment and family support, most adolescents recover fully (Le Grange & Lock, 2020). Healing takes time, but every effort you make; every meal shared, every patient conversation, every reminder of your unconditional love, adds to the foundation of recovery.

Parenting through an eating disorder is one of the hardest things you may ever face, but you don’t have to do it alone. With professional guidance, family connection, and evidence-based support, you and your teen can find your way back to health and hope.

Hidden in Plain Sight: Understanding the Risks of Minor Sex Trafficking in Grand Rapids

Why Focus on Grand Rapids?

Sex trafficking isn't a distant or abstract threat—it affects communities close to home. In Grand Rapids and Kent County, the average age of entry into commercial sex trafficking is just 15.2 years—a stark and sobering figure. Every month, approximately 85 new individuals are advertised online for coerced commercial sex, translating to around 1,000 new victims each year in our region Calvin University Chimes.

Recent reports also reveal that local law enforcement is identifying more trafficking cases than ever. In 2024, the Kent County Sheriff’s Department discovered over 90 victims, up from 60 the previous year, and projects nearly 120 by year-end. Alarmingly, more than half of those are girls aged 17 or younger Wood TV.

The Mechanics: How Minors Become Trafficking Victims

1. Online Grooming and Coercion

Adolescents are increasingly targeted through social media. Groomers exploit emotional needs—offering attention, money, or escape—and may manipulate teens into exploitation without ever meeting in person FOX 17 West Michigan News (WXMI)therapidian.org.

2. False Promises and Local Exploitation

Traffickers often recruit teens with the promise of modeling, money, or a safe escape from home, then coerce or force them into commercial sex. A known case in 2016 involved minors aged 15–16 being trafficked through motels in Grand Rapids and Holland under such pretenses Department of Justice.

3. Control Through Trauma and Dependence

Many victims are controlled via physical abuse, drugs, emotional manipulation, or financial dependence—often resulting in complex psychological trauma that echoes long after escape Wikipedia.

Real Cases Underscore the Stakes

• Eddie Allen Jackson Case (2014): A trafficker received a 30-year prison sentence for recruiting girls aged 14–16. He used drugs, violence, and emotional abuse to maintain control over his victims Federal Bureau of Investigation.

• Torey Franklin Case (2022): A Grand Rapids man was charged with sex trafficking a 17-year-old, producing child pornography, and distributing it—charges that carry life-altering penalties https://www.wilx.comDepartment of Justice.

The Mental and Physical Toll on Minors

Sex trafficking inflicts deep and lasting trauma on minors, including:

• Complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, dissociation, substance misuse, self-harm, and self-destructive behaviors.

• Physical health consequences such as untreated injuries, STIs, and chronic health issues resulting from prolonged exploitation

What Can the Community Do?

This is a multifaceted issue—and combating it requires a united response.

1. Recognize Warning Signals
Symptoms might include sudden behavioral changes, unexplained new wealth, signs of physical bruising, possession of phones or hotel key cards, or inappropriate relationships with older individuals Federal Bureau of InvestigationFOX 17 West Michigan News (WXMI).

2. Strengthen Awareness and Education
Events and public forums—like those hosted by the Grand Rapids Human Trafficking Work Group—educate parents, teachers, and professionals to better identify and understand local risks wgvunews.org.

3. Support Local Task Forces and Coalitions
Groups such as the Kent County Human Trafficking Coalition and Safe Haven Ministries provide critical services to survivors—housing, counseling, and legal support Calvin University ChimesWood TV.

4. Promote Collaboration Across Sectors
Police, schools, social services, businesses, and faith communities must coordinate to identify cases early, share intelligence, and support victims holistically Calvin University Chimes.

5. Advocate for Policy and Funding
Michigan has strengthened anti-trafficking laws, including safe harbor provisions and enhanced penalties for traffickers. Continued support for these laws ensures accountability and access to restitution for survivors Michigan.govWikipedia.

Final Thoughts

Sex trafficking of minors is a hidden crisis in Grand Rapids—but it’s not invisible. With the average victim entering exploitation around age 15 and recruitment methods becoming increasingly sophisticated, awareness, vigilance, and community action are essential.

By recognizing signs early, educating ourselves, advocating for survivors, and building strong local coalitions, we can protect young people from falling through the cracks—and help them reclaim their futures.

Kids, Teens, and Phones: Safe Practices and Hidden Risks of Growing Up Online

For today’s children and teens, smartphones and the internet aren’t optional, they’re woven into daily life. From staying connected with friends to completing schoolwork, screens are everywhere. But with opportunity comes risk.

Research shows that while digital devices can support learning, creativity, and social connection, they also expose young people to dangers like cyberbullying, sleep disruption, exposure to inappropriate content, and threats to privacy (Livingstone et al., 2017).

The challenge for parents, educators, and mental health professionals is finding the balance: How do we allow kids to reap the benefits of technology while keeping them safe online?

Risks of Phones and Online Presence for Children and Teens

1. Mental Health Concerns

   • Sleep disruption: Using phones before bed is linked to shorter sleep duration and poorer sleep quality, which in turn affects mood and concentration (Levenson et al., 2017).

   • Anxiety and depression: Heavy social media use is associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, especially among adolescent girls (Twenge & Campbell, 2018).

   • Fear of missing out (FOMO): Constant notifications and peer updates can heighten stress and compulsive checking.

2. Exposure to Harmful Content
   Children and teens may encounter violent, sexual, or misleading information before they’re developmentally ready to process it. Early exposure can shape attitudes and behaviors in harmful ways.

3. Cyberbullying
   Unlike traditional bullying, online harassment is constant and inescapable. Victims often experience greater distress because the bullying follows them home (Kowalski et al., 2014).

4. Privacy and Safety Risks
   Teens may overshare personal information without realizing the long-term consequences. Posting photos, locations, or personal details can expose them to predators or identity theft.

5. Addictive Use
   Apps are designed to maximize engagement, making it difficult for young users to set limits. Excessive use is linked to academic struggles, reduced physical activity, and family conflict.

Benefits of Technology When Used Safely

It’s not all bad news. When managed well, phones and online platforms can also support healthy development:

• Connection: For many teens, digital spaces provide vital peer support, especially for those who feel marginalized offline.

• Learning: Access to educational resources, global perspectives, and creative platforms fosters curiosity and skill-building.

• Identity exploration: Adolescents often use online communities to safely explore interests and identities.

The key is not elimination, but moderation and guidance.

Safe Practices for Kids and Teens Online

Parents, educators, and clinicians can promote digital well-being by encouraging these evidence-based practices:

1. Set Tech-Free Times and Zones

   • Bedrooms should be device-free at night to protect sleep.

   • Family meals and homework time are healthier without distractions.

2. Model Healthy Behavior
   Kids learn by watching. Parents who set boundaries for their own screen time send a powerful message.

3. Teach Digital Literacy

   • Help children question what they see online and understand that not everything is true or healthy.

   • Discuss the permanence of digital footprints, what goes online often stays online.

4. Encourage Open Communication

   • Teens are more likely to seek help if they know parents won’t immediately overreact or confiscate devices.

   • Keep conversations ongoing, not one-time lectures.

5. Use Parental Tools Thoughtfully

   • Filters, privacy settings, and screen-time apps can help, but they’re not substitutes for trust and guidance.

6. Balance Online and Offline Life
   Encourage hobbies, sports, outdoor activities, and in-person socializing to prevent overreliance on screens for identity and entertainment.

The Bottom Line

Phones and the internet are not going away. For children and teens, online presence is a central part of growing up in the modern world. But with thoughtful guidance, clear boundaries, and open communication, families can minimize risks while supporting safe, healthy digital engagement.

The goal isn’t to ban technology, it’s to help kids and teens use it in ways that protect their well-being and prepare them for adulthood in a connected world.

References

• Kowalski, R. M., Giumetti, G. W., Schroeder, A. N., & Lattanner, M. R. (2014). Bullying in the digital age: A critical review and meta-analysis of cyberbullying research among youth. Psychological Bulletin, 140(4), 1073–1137.

• Levenson, J. C., Shensa, A., Sidani, J. E., Colditz, J. B., & Primack, B. A. (2017). The association between social media use and sleep disturbance among young adults. Preventive Medicine, 85, 36–41.

• Livingstone, S., Mascheroni, G., & Staksrud, E. (2017). European research on children’s internet use: Assessing the past and anticipating the future. New Media & Society, 20(3), 1103–1122.

• Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2018). Associations between screen time and lower psychological well-being among children and adolescents. Preventive Medicine Reports, 12, 271–283.

Teens, Identity, and the Scroll: Why It’s Hard to Disconnect from Social Media

If you’ve ever tried to ask a teenager to put down their phone, you probably know the look, part panic, part disbelief, as if you asked them to cut off a limb. For today’s adolescents, social media isn’t just a pastime; it’s a central part of identity development.

Psychologists have long recognized adolescence as the stage where identity formation takes center stage (Erikson, 1968). But in the era of Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat, that process looks very different. Today’s teens are building, testing, and broadcasting their identities online and disconnecting feels nearly impossible.

Why Identity and Social Media Are So Intertwined

1. Social Comparison
   Adolescents naturally compare themselves to peers as they figure out “Who am I?” Social media amplifies this process. Teens are constantly exposed to curated images of others’ lives, which can fuel self-doubt, body dissatisfaction, or feelings of inadequacy (Vogel et al., 2014).

2. Feedback Loops
   Identity exploration used to happen in small, private circles. Now, every outfit, opinion, or joke can be instantly validated (or rejected) through likes, comments, and shares. Research shows this immediate feedback can shape self-esteem and reinforce certain aspects of identity (Nesi & Prinstein, 2015).

3. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
   Adolescents crave belonging. Social media provides a 24/7 window into peer activities, making disconnection feel like social exclusion. FOMO isn’t just an annoyance, it’s linked to higher anxiety and depressive symptoms (Oberst et al., 2017).

4. Performance of Self
   Teens aren’t just “being” online; they’re performing. Carefully crafted posts, filters, and captions can create pressure to maintain an idealized self, which may clash with their offline identity. This tension can fuel identity confusion or stress.

Why Teens Struggle to Disconnect

• Neurological Sensitivity
  Adolescents’ brains are especially sensitive to social rewards. Neuroimaging studies show that social media “likes” activate the brain’s reward centers in the same way as other pleasurable stimuli (Sherman et al., 2016).

• Developmental Timing
  Adolescence is when autonomy and peer relationships matter most. Because social media is where those relationships unfold, disconnecting can feel like stepping out of their social world entirely.

• Algorithmic Design
  It’s not just psychology, it’s technology. Platforms are designed to keep users scrolling, with endless feeds and notifications that exploit attention and reward systems. Teens are especially vulnerable to these hooks.

Mental Health Implications

Research suggests both benefits and risks:

• Benefits: Social media can provide community, self-expression, and support, especially for marginalized youth who may find connection online that they lack offline.

• Risks: Excessive use is associated with sleep disruption, lower self-esteem, higher anxiety, and depressive symptoms (Twenge & Campbell, 2018). For some, online interactions replace in-person relationships, reducing opportunities for face-to-face skill building.

Helping Teens Navigate Social Media and Identity

• Encourage mindful use: Help teens reflect on how certain apps or interactions make them feel, rather than setting rigid bans.

• Promote digital literacy: Teach them to recognize curated content and the gap between online performance and reality.

• Set healthy boundaries: Model tech-free times (e.g., family meals, before bed). Adolescents are more likely to follow boundaries when parents practice them too.

• Support offline identity exploration: Encourage hobbies, sports, arts, or community activities where identity can develop beyond screens.

• Normalize disconnection: Frame phone-free time as self-care, not punishment.

The Bottom Line

Adolescents today are the first generation to come of age with their identities woven tightly into digital life. While social media offers powerful tools for self-expression and connection, it also heightens vulnerability to comparison, anxiety, and dependency.

Helping teens doesn’t mean forcing them to disconnect completely — it means equipping them to use social media in ways that support, rather than undermine, healthy identity development.

References

• Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. W. W. Norton & Company.

• Nesi, J., & Prinstein, M. J. (2015). Using social media for social comparison and feedback-seeking: Gender and popularity moderate associations with depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 43(8), 1427–1438.

• Oberst, U., Wegmann, E., Stodt, B., Brand, M., & Chamarro, A. (2017). Negative consequences from heavy social networking in adolescents: The mediating role of fear of missing out. Journal of Adolescence, 55, 51–60.

• Sherman, L. E., Payton, A. A., Hernandez, L. M., Greenfield, P. M., & Dapretto, M. (2016). The power of the “like” in adolescence: Effects of peer influence on neural and behavioral responses to social media. Psychological Science, 27(7), 1027–1035.

• Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2018). Associations between screen time and lower psychological well-being among children and adolescents: Evidence from a population-based study. Preventive Medicine Reports, 12, 271–283.

• Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206–222.

Why Growing Up Takes Longer Now: Understanding Extended Adolescence

If you’ve noticed that young adults today seem to take longer to “launch” into full independence, you’re not imagining it. Many are delaying milestones like finishing school, living on their own, or starting a family. Psychologists call this phase extended adolescence (sometimes called emerging adulthood).

It’s not a failure or a flaw, it’s a developmental stage that reflects how our culture, economy, and life expectancy have changed. But while extended adolescence can provide valuable time for self-discovery, it also brings unique mental health challenges.

What Extended Adolescence Looks Like

Traditionally, adulthood was marked by clear milestones in the late teens or early twenties. Today, more people are:

• Staying in school longer.

• Living with parents into their 20s.

• Delaying marriage and parenthood.

• Exploring jobs, relationships, and identities before committing to one path.

Psychologist Jeffrey Arnett (2000) identified this new phase as emerging adulthood — a time of exploration, but also uncertainty.

The Mental Health Side of Extended Adolescence

While this stage can be exciting, it’s also emotionally complex:

• Anxiety and Depression
  Uncertainty about the future can fuel stress. Studies show young adults often experience high levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness during this period, especially if they feel “behind” their peers (Schulenberg & Schoon, 2012).

• ADHD and Executive Functioning
  For those with ADHD, extended adolescence can be especially difficult. Challenges with planning, organization, and self-regulation may delay independence further. Without support, young adults with ADHD are at higher risk of academic setbacks, job instability, and low self-esteem (Barkley, 2015).

• Identity and Self-Worth
  Social media can intensify feelings of inadequacy, as young adults compare their “in-between” stage to peers who appear to have it all figured out. This comparison can heighten depression and social anxiety.

• Family Stress
  Parents may struggle to balance supporting their young adult while also encouraging independence. Conflict around money, boundaries, or responsibility is common.

Supporting Mental Health in Extended Adolescence

Extended adolescence doesn’t have to mean stagnation. With the right support, it can be a period of growth and resilience-building. Here’s what helps:

• Normalize the experience: Young adults often feel like they’re “behind.” Reassure them that this stage is common and valid.

• Encourage skill-building: Therapy, coaching, or mentorship can help develop time management, emotional regulation, and financial skills.

• Therapeutic support: Evidence-based therapies like CBT can address anxiety, depression, and ADHD symptoms while building coping strategies.

• Balance support and independence: Parents can act as a “safety net” without rescuing — offering encouragement while fostering autonomy.

• Community and connection: Encouraging friendships, volunteering, or support groups helps combat isolation and strengthens identity.

The Takeaway

Extended adolescence is a normal developmental phase in today’s world but it can also heighten vulnerability to anxiety, depression, and ADHD related struggles. Far from being a sign of weakness, seeking support during this stage is a sign of strength.

With the right tools and guidance, young adults can use this extra time not as a delay, but as a foundation for a healthier, more intentional adulthood.

References

• Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469–480.

• Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.

• Schulenberg, J. E., & Schoon, I. (2012). The transition to adulthood across time and space: Overview of special section. Longitudinal and Life Course Studies, 3(2), 164–172.

When Do You Know Your Child May Need Therapy?

Parenting comes with plenty of “Is this normal?” moments. Mood swings, occasional meltdowns, or changes in behavior can be part of growing up. But sometimes, the challenges your child is facing may be more than just a passing phase and getting extra support could make all the difference.

Therapy isn’t just for a crisis. It’s a space where children can learn tools for coping, communicating, and understanding themselves better and where parents get guidance, too.

Signs Your Child May Benefit from Therapy

1. Emotional Changes That Don’t Fade

• Ongoing sadness, irritability, or mood swings

• Frequent tearfulness or anger outbursts

• Talking about feeling hopeless, worthless, or wanting to disappear

2. Behavior That’s Affecting Daily Life

• Avoiding friends, school, or activities they used to enjoy

• Significant drop in grades or school participation

• Aggression, defiance, or extreme withdrawal

3. Physical or Stress-Related Symptoms

• Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or unexplained pains

• Changes in sleep, too much or too little

• Changes in appetite or eating habits

4. Difficulty Coping with Life Changes

• Struggling after a move, divorce, loss, or big transition

• Ongoing anxiety about things most children adjust to over time

• Trouble bouncing back after stressful events

What Therapy for Children Looks Like

Child therapy doesn’t mean sitting in a chair talking for an hour. It’s tailored to your child’s age, personality, and needs.

• Play therapy: For younger children, play is how they communicate through games, art, and storytelling.

• Skill-building: Older kids might work on coping skills, problem-solving, or managing big emotions.

• Family involvement: Parents may join sessions or receive coaching to support progress at home.

• Safe space: Therapy offers a judgment-free place for kids to express themselves and feel understood.

When in Doubt, Trust Your Gut

If you’re wondering whether your child could benefit from therapy, that’s already a sign to explore the option. You don’t need to wait for things to get “bad enough.” Sometimes the best time to seek help is before a problem becomes overwhelming.

Therapy isn’t about labeling your child, it’s about giving them tools to grow, cope, and thrive. If something has been worrying you for more than a few weeks, reach out to a mental health professional who specializes in working with children. Early support can make a lasting difference.

Pathologizing Childhood Behaviors vs. When to Seek Help for Your Child’s Mental Health

As parents, teachers, and caregivers, we want the best for our children and that includes supporting their mental health. But sometimes it’s hard to know when typical childhood ups and downs become something more serious that requires professional help.

In recent years, there’s been growing awareness of childhood mental health, which is great. But that awareness also brings a risk: over-pathologizing normal behavior. In other words, labeling normal mood swings, fears, or energy as a “disorder” when they’re really part of growing up.

What Does “Pathologizing” Mean?

Pathologizing means treating normal emotions or behaviors as if they’re symptoms of a mental illness. Childhood is full of changes including tantrums, fears of the dark, defiance, and mood swings, and those don’t always mean something is wrong.

When Is It Normal — and When Is It a Concern?

Here are some ways to tell:

Normal Childhood Behavior When to Consider Seeking Help

Occasional moodiness or irritability Persistent sadness or irritability lasting weeks or more

Shyness or fear in new situations Extreme anxiety that interferes with daily life

Testing limits and rules Aggressive or self-harming behaviors

Occasional trouble focusing Difficulty concentrating that impacts school or home life

Upset when routines change Severe distress or inability to adapt to changes

Why It Matters Not to Over-Pathologize

• Avoids unnecessary stigma and worry for both child and family.

• Prevents children from feeling labeled or different when they’re actually within a normal range of development.

• Encourages parents to focus on support and coping, not just diagnosis.

Why It Matters to Seek Help When Needed

• Early intervention can prevent small issues from becoming bigger problems.

• Professional guidance helps families understand what’s happening and learn effective strategies.

• Therapy isn’t just for crises, it’s a tool for growth, resilience, and emotional health.

How to Approach Concerns

• Trust your instincts as a parent, if something feels off, it’s worth exploring.

• Talk openly with your child about their feelings without judgment.

• Consult with your pediatrician or a mental health professional for an evaluation if you notice persistent or severe symptoms.

• Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not failure.

Not every challenge or change in your child’s mood or behavior is a mental health disorder. Childhood is a time of growth, with ups and downs. But if you see patterns that interfere with your child’s happiness, learning, or relationships, don’t hesitate to seek help. Getting support early can make all the difference.

Helping Tweens Adjust to Middle School: What Parents Need to Know

Middle school is a big transition for kids and parents alike. It’s a time of new teachers, changing social circles, increased academic demands, and a rollercoaster of emotions. For tweens (roughly ages 10-13), adjusting to this new world can be exciting, overwhelming, and sometimes downright stressful.

If your child is gearing up for middle school or just starting, here’s what to expect and how you can support them through this important phase.

Why Middle School Feels So Big

• More independence but also more responsibility.

• Multiple teachers instead of one, meaning different expectations and routines.

• Social groups become more complex; friendships shift and peer pressure increases.

• Physical and emotional changes as puberty begins or accelerates.

All of this can feel like a lot to handle at once!

Common Challenges Tweens Face

• Feeling anxious about fitting in or making new friends.

• Worrying about grades, homework, and tests.

• Managing time and organization across multiple classes.

• Navigating changing relationships with parents and siblings.

• Handling the ups and downs of early adolescence.

How Parents Can Help

1. Keep Communication Open

• Check in regularly, not just about schoolwork but feelings and friendships too.

• Listen without judgment or rushing to fix things. Sometimes just being heard helps.

2. Encourage Organizational Skills

• Help your tween create a system for tracking homework, projects, and activities.

• Use planners, apps, or calendars together.

3. Normalize the Struggle

• Remind your child that everyone feels unsure or overwhelmed sometimes.

• Share stories of your own middle school challenges to build connection.

4. Support Friendships and Social Skills

• Encourage participation in clubs or activities where your child can find like-minded peers.

• Role-play social situations if needed to build confidence.

5. Watch for Signs of Stress or Anxiety

• Changes in sleep, appetite, mood, or behavior can signal your tween is struggling.

• If concerns grow, consider talking to a counselor or therapist for extra support.

Tips for Tweens: Making Middle School Work for You

• Don’t be afraid to ask questions, teachers and counselors want to help.

• Take breaks and find activities you enjoy outside of school.

• Practice healthy habits like sleep, exercise, and balanced eating.

• Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes, they’re part of learning and growing.

  Middle school is a major adjustment, but with patience, support, and open communication, tweens can navigate this exciting chapter successfully; building confidence, friendships, and skills that will last a lifetime.

Helping Your Teen Adjust to High School: What You Need to Know

Starting high school is a big deal; a milestone full of new opportunities, challenges, and changes. For many teens, it brings excitement about new classes, friends, and independence. But it can also come with stress, pressure, and uncertainty.

As a parent, you want to support your teen through this transition, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. Here’s what you need to know about how teens experience this change, and how you can help them navigate it with confidence.

Why High School Is a Big Adjustment

• Increased academic demands and more responsibility for managing assignments.

• Navigating a larger social world with more complex peer dynamics.

• Exploring identity and independence while still needing parental support.

• Pressure around extracurriculars, college prep, and future plans.

All these factors can feel overwhelming and sometimes confusing for teens.

Common Struggles Teens Face Starting High School

• Feeling anxious about fitting in or making friends.

• Balancing schoolwork, activities, and social life.

• Managing time effectively without constant parental reminders.

• Experiencing mood swings or emotional ups and downs.

• Handling peer pressure or social media stress.

How Parents Can Support Their Teens

1. Keep the Lines of Communication Open

• Make time for regular, judgment-free conversations about how they’re doing , emotionally and academically.

• Listen more than you talk. Sometimes teens just need to be heard.

2. Help Them Build Time Management Skills

• Encourage use of planners or apps to track homework, tests, and activities.

• Support setting realistic goals and breaking tasks into manageable steps.

3. Normalize Stress and Struggle

• Let them know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, it doesn’t mean they’re failing.

• Share your own experiences or stories of challenges you overcame.

4. Encourage Healthy Habits

• Support regular sleep, physical activity, and balanced nutrition.

• Promote breaks and downtime to recharge.

5. Watch for Signs of Trouble

• Notice if your teen withdraws, has mood changes, or shows sudden drops in grades or motivation.

• Don’t hesitate to seek help from school counselors or mental health professionals if needed.

Tips for Teens: Making High School a Success

• Ask questions; teachers and counselors are there to support you.

• Find activities or clubs that match your interests.

• Practice self-care; it’s just as important as academics.

• Remember, it’s okay to ask for help when things feel tough.

High school is a major life transition, but with understanding, open communication, and support, your teen can adjust and thrive during this exciting chapter.

Helping Your Teen Adjust to Senior Year Expectations

Senior year is a major milestone, it’s the last year of high school, filled with exciting moments like prom, graduation, and college decisions. But it’s also a year packed with pressure. Between academics, college applications, social events, and thinking about the future, your teen might feel overwhelmed or stressed.

As a parent, you want to help your teen manage these expectations without losing their sense of balance and well-being. Here’s what to know and how to support them through this important year.

Why Senior Year Can Feel So Intense

• Increased academic workload and the importance of final grades.

• College applications, essays, interviews, and deadlines.

• Pressure to decide on future plans, whether college, work, or other paths.

• Balancing social life, extracurriculars, and family expectations.

• Emotional ups and downs as your teen prepares for major life changes.

Common Stressors for Seniors

• Fear of not getting into the “right” college or program.

• Juggling multiple deadlines and responsibilities.

• Feeling uncertain about the future or their own identity.

• Managing family expectations and personal goals.

• Anxiety around leaving friends and familiar routines.

How Parents Can Help Their Senior

1. Open Up Honest Conversations

• Check in regularly about how they’re feeling — academically, socially, and emotionally.

• Offer support without judgment or pressure.

2. Help Them Break Tasks into Manageable Steps

• Create a calendar together for applications, deadlines, and important events.

• Encourage realistic goal-setting to avoid overwhelm.

3. Encourage Self-Care and Balance

• Remind them that taking breaks, sleeping well, and staying active improve focus and mood.

• Support hobbies or downtime that help them relax.

4. Normalize Uncertainty and Emotions

• Let them know it’s normal to feel stressed, confused, or excited; senior year is a big transition.

• Share stories of your own experiences or those of others to build perspective.

5. Know When to Seek Extra Support

• Watch for signs of persistent anxiety, depression, or burnout.

• Consider counseling or therapy if stress becomes overwhelming.

Tips for Teens: Navigating Senior Year Successfully

• Use planners or apps to stay organized; it helps reduce stress.

• Ask for help when needed, whether from parents, teachers, or counselors.

• Focus on what you can control, like your effort and attitude.

• Keep connections with friends and family strong.

• Remember, senior year is a chapter, not the whole story.

  Senior year comes with its share of pressures, but with open communication, realistic expectations, and self-care, your teen can manage the challenges and enjoy this special time.

Adjusting to College Life: A Guide for Young Adults

Starting college is a huge step! It’s exciting, full of new opportunities, but it can also feel overwhelming. You’re stepping into a new world with different routines, expectations, and people. Whether you’re moving away from home for the first time or staying close by, adjusting takes time and effort.

The good news? With some helpful strategies and a bit of patience, you can navigate this transition and create a college experience that works for you.

Common Challenges New College Students Face

• Managing your own schedule and responsibilities without parental reminders.

• Balancing classes, homework, social life, and possibly a job.

• Feeling homesick or missing your usual support system.

• Navigating new social groups and finding your people.

• Handling the pressure of academic expectations.

Tips for Adjusting to College Life

1. Build a Routine That Works

• Create a schedule for classes, studying, meals, and rest.

• Set regular sleep times. Sleep is key for focus and mood.

2. Get Organized Early

• Use planners, apps, or calendars to track assignments and deadlines.

• Break big projects into smaller steps to avoid last-minute stress.

3. Find Your Support System

• Connect with roommates, classmates, or campus groups.

• Seek out campus resources like counseling, tutoring, or clubs.

4. Take Care of Your Mental Health

• Recognize that feeling overwhelmed or homesick is normal.

• Practice self-care activities like exercise, hobbies, or meditation.

• Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support if needed.

5. Keep Communication Open

• Stay in touch with family and old friends to maintain a support network.

• Build new friendships gradually. It takes time to find your tribe.

Remember, It’s Okay to Ask for Help

College is a journey of growth, and part of that growth is learning when and how to ask for help. Whether it’s academic challenges or emotional struggles, reaching out shows strength, not weakness.

Adjusting to college takes time, but with patience, planning, and support, you can thrive in this exciting new chapter. Embrace the change, and know that you’re not alone on this journey.

Managing Back-to-School Stress and Anxiety: Tips for Kids and Parents

The start of a new school year can be exciting; fresh supplies, new clothes, and the promise of new friends. But it can also bring a mix of nerves and stress for both kids and parents.

Whether it’s a kindergartner’s first day or a teenager facing AP classes, change can feel overwhelming. The good news? With a little preparation and emotional support, you can help make the transition smoother for everyone.

Why the Start of School Can Feel Stressful

• For kids: New teachers, different routines, academic expectations, and social dynamics can all feel intimidating.

• For parents: Managing schedules, homework help, transportation, and the emotional ups and downs of your kids can be stressful.

Stress isn’t always bad, it’s the body’s way of adjusting to new situations. But when it lingers or feels intense, it’s important to have strategies in place.

Helping Kids Manage Back-to-School Anxiety

1. Talk About What to Expect

• Discuss the schedule, where classrooms are, and what the first day might look like.

• Normalize nervous feelings, let them know it’s okay to be both excited and anxious.

2. Practice Routines Early

• Shift bedtime and wake-up times gradually before school starts.

• Try a “practice run” of the morning routine, including packing lunches and backpacks.

3. Create Comfort Items or Rituals

• For younger kids, a small object from home can help ease separation anxiety.

• A special handshake or goodbye phrase can make drop-offs easier.

4. Encourage Healthy Coping Skills

• Teach deep breathing, positive self-talk, or visualization (“picture yourself having a good day”).

• Keep after-school time calm to allow decompression.

Managing Your Own Back-to-School Stress as a Parent

1. Plan Ahead Where You Can

• Use a family calendar for activities, deadlines, and appointments.

• Prep backpacks, lunches, and outfits the night before to reduce morning chaos.

2. Keep Perspective

• Remember: the first few weeks are an adjustment for everyone. Expect some bumps.

• Avoid overscheduling, leave space for rest and downtime.

3. Model Calm and Flexibility

• Kids pick up on your stress. Showing calm problem-solving helps them feel safe.

• Use humor and patience when things don’t go perfectly (because they won’t).

4. Prioritize Your Own Well-being

• Schedule small breaks for yourself. Even a short walk or a few minutes of quiet can help.

• Stay connected with supportive friends or other parents.

Back-to-school transitions are a mix of excitement and nerves for kids and parents alike. A little planning, open communication, and healthy coping strategies can turn that first-day anxiety into confidence for the whole family.

Spotting Signs of Depression and Anxiety in Your Child

As parents, we usually know when something’s “off” with our kids. But it’s not always easy to tell the difference between a bad day and something deeper, like anxiety or depression.

Here’s a quick guide to help you notice the signs early and know what to expect if you reach out for help.

Possible Signs of Depression

• Sad or irritable most of the day

• Not enjoying activities they used to love

• Sleeping much more or much less

• Big changes in appetite

• Talking about feeling hopeless or worthless

Possible Signs of Anxiety

• Constant worry or “what if” thinking

• Avoiding school, activities, or social situations

• Complaints of stomachaches or headaches with no clear cause

• Needing lots of reassurance

• Trouble sleeping or relaxing

When to Reach Out for Help

• Changes last more than 2 weeks

• They’re struggling at school, with friends, or at home

• You’re feeling worried more days than not

What You Can Do Right Now

• Let them know you’re there and you care

• Listen without judgment or quick fixes

• Keep routines steady and predictable

• Model healthy coping (deep breaths, breaks, talking things out)

What Therapy with Your Child Looks Like

Therapy for children isn’t sitting on a couch and talking for an hour like you might see in movies. It’s tailored to your child’s age, personality, and needs — and it can actually be engaging, even fun.

• Play therapy: For younger kids, play is the “language” of therapy; using toys, games, art, or stories to help them express feelings.

• Skill-building activities: For older kids, therapists may use activities, role-play, or worksheets to teach coping skills and problem-solving.

• Family involvement: Parents are often part of sessions or get guidance on how to support progress at home.

• Safe space: The goal is to help your child feel understood, build confidence, and learn tools for handling big feelings.

Therapy isn’t about “fixing” your child; it’s about giving them a safe place to grow, learn, and feel supported.

If your gut tells you something isn’t right, trust it. You don’t need to have all the answers, just take the first step. Early support can make a big difference in your child’s well-being.

Rewriting Your Story: How to Not Let Your Past Define You

Many of us carry stories about who we are based on where we’ve been—painful memories, past mistakes, or labels given to us by others. As a therapist, I often hear clients say things like, “This is just who I am,” or “I can’t change because of what happened to me.” That’s why the recent episode of the Modern Wisdom podcast featuring psychologist and author Scott Barry Kaufman felt like such a powerful and compassionate invitation to think differently.

In “How to Not Let Your Past Define You,” Kaufman shares both research and personal wisdom about the human capacity for growth. It’s a conversation rooted in science but delivered with heart—a reminder that while our past shapes us, it doesn’t have to imprison us.

Your Past Is a Chapter, Not the Whole Story

Kaufman emphasizes that our identities are not fixed. Who you were five or ten years ago is not who you have to be today. He talks about the concept of the “false self”—a version of ourselves we construct early in life in order to survive, gain approval, or feel safe. Often, that false self becomes so familiar that we confuse it with our true nature.

Through reflection and healing, Kaufman believes we can reconnect with the authentic self—the version of us that exists beneath the defenses, wounds, and roles we’ve been conditioned to play. This process doesn’t erase the past, but it frees us from being controlled by it.

Trauma Doesn’t Define You—But It Does Deserve Care

A particularly meaningful part of the conversation is Kaufman’s acknowledgment of trauma’s real impact. He doesn’t minimize the pain that many people carry. Instead, he encourages a more compassionate perspective: trauma changes us, but it doesn’t have to be our identity.

He introduces the idea of post-traumatic growth—the potential not just to survive difficulty, but to emerge from it with greater clarity, resilience, and purpose. Growth doesn’t mean the pain didn’t matter—it means it doesn’t get to tell the final story.

Practical Ways to Move Forward

Throughout the podcast, Kaufman offers thoughtful guidance on how to begin loosening the grip of the past:

• Practice Self-Compassion – Speak to yourself like you would to someone you deeply care about. Healing begins with kindness, not criticism.

• Reevaluate Your Core Beliefs – Ask yourself: “Is this belief about myself still true?” Many beliefs formed in childhood no longer serve us as adults.

• Allow for Psychological Flexibility – You don’t have to stay the same to be consistent. Growth is not betrayal—it’s evolution.

• Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented Relationships – Seek people who see you for who you’re becoming, not just who you’ve been.

Therapy as a Space to Reclaim Your Narrative

As a therapist, I see firsthand how liberating it can be when someone realizes they are not their past. Therapy can offer a safe, structured space to explore old wounds, challenge limiting beliefs, and begin rewriting your inner narrative.

Kaufman’s message is ultimately one of hope: no matter what you’ve experienced, there is always room for healing, change, and self-discovery.

Final Thought: You Are Not Your History

Your past may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to be your identity. You are allowed to change. You are allowed to grow. And you are worthy of a future that reflects your true self—not just your old wounds.

Rewiring Your Brain and Manifesting Your Dreams

When we hear words like “manifestation,” many of us picture vision boards, positive affirmations, or vague promises from self-help gurus. But what happens when a neuroscientist steps into the conversation? In a compelling episode of The Daily Motivation Podcast, Dr. Tara Swart Bieber—a medical doctor, neuroscientist, and author—offers a grounded, research-based perspective on how we can actually rewire our brains to move toward our deepest goals.

As a therapist, I’m always interested in the intersection of science and personal growth. This episode is a meaningful reminder that change isn’t about magic—it’s about neuroplasticity, intentional focus, and the courage to believe we’re worthy of more.

The Brain Is Wired to Survive—Not to Dream

Dr. Swart Bieber begins by explaining a simple but powerful truth: the human brain is biologically wired for safety and efficiency, not necessarily for thriving or dreaming. Our habits, thoughts, and emotional reactions are shaped by past experiences, especially the ones tied to survival—physical or emotional.

This means that change—whether it’s pursuing a dream, building a new identity, or leaving behind limiting beliefs—can feel uncomfortable or even threatening. But the good news is that the brain is capable of rewiring itself when we engage it with intention and consistency.

Visualization Isn’t Fluff—It’s Neuroplasticity at Work

One of the most valuable insights Dr. Swart Bieber shares is that visualization—a key part of manifestation—is backed by neuroscience. When we vividly imagine a desired outcome, our brain begins to create neural pathways similar to those formed by real experiences. This helps our goals feel more emotionally and cognitively familiar, making it easier to act in alignment with them.

But she’s clear: visualization alone isn’t enough. Real manifestation combines vision with effort, repetition, and emotional engagement. In her words, “You can’t just wish for something—you have to train your brain to believe it’s possible, and then build the habits to support it.”

Rewiring Your Brain: The Science-Backed Steps

Dr. Swart Bieber outlines several strategies that align beautifully with therapeutic work:

1. Clarify What You Want
   Be specific. Vague hopes don’t activate the brain as powerfully as detailed visions. Ask yourself not just what you want, but why it matters.

2. Engage Emotionally
   Emotions are essential to learning and memory. If your goals don’t stir something inside you, your brain won’t prioritize them. Passion gives rewiring power.

3. Challenge Limiting Beliefs
   Many people have unconscious beliefs formed in childhood—like “I’m not good enough” or “People like me don’t succeed.” These can sabotage progress unless brought into conscious awareness and reworked.

4. Create Daily Rituals
   Whether it’s journaling, meditation, or affirmations, consistent rituals help reinforce new neural patterns. Repetition is the brain’s love language.

5. Surround Yourself with Growth
   The people around us shape our identity and mindset. Seek community and content that supports your evolving self.

Manifestation and Mental Health

As a therapist, I especially appreciated Dr. Swart Bieber’s emphasis on realism and responsibility. Manifestation doesn’t mean denying pain or pretending everything is okay. It means acknowledging what is and believing in what could be.

For individuals navigating trauma, anxiety, or depression, this process may take more time and care. Therapy can be a powerful support system—offering tools to uncover limiting beliefs, build self-worth, and take small, sustainable steps toward change.

Final Thought: You’re Allowed to Dream Bigger

Dr. Tara Swart Bieber’s message is ultimately one of empowerment: your brain is not fixed, and your future is not written in stone. With intention, practice, and support, you can rewire the way you think, feel, and act—and move closer to a life that reflects your values, purpose, and dreams.

So the next time you hesitate to dream, remember: science is on your side.