Friendship Matters: A Guide for Teens and Young Adults
Friendships during the teen and young adult years can feel like everything. Friends are the people you laugh with, lean on, and sometimes fight with. They can be a source of joy and belonging, but also of stress or confusion. The good news is that the skills of making, keeping, and being a good friend can be learned and strengthened, just like any other life skill.
Research shows that close friendships in adolescence and young adulthood are strongly linked to better mental health, greater resilience, and even physical well-being later in life (Allen et al., 2015; Bagwell & Schmidt, 2011). In short: the effort you put into building and nurturing friendships is an investment in your long-term happiness and health.
How to Make Friends
Making new friends can feel intimidating, but psychologists note that friendship often grows from repeated, low-pressure contact (Parks & Floyd, 1996). Think of it as planting seeds: with time and care, connections deepen.
Start with shared activities. Join clubs, sports, study groups, or volunteer opportunities. Shared interests naturally create opportunities for connection.
Show openness through body language. Smile, make eye contact, and use small gestures of friendliness. These cues invite others in.
Practice small talk. Even a simple, “Hey, how was your weekend?” can open the door to deeper conversations.
Be patient. Not every attempt at connection turns into friendship. That’s normal. Keep trying.
How to Keep Friends
Research suggests that the quality—not the number—of friendships matters most (Bukowski et al., 2019). To keep friendships strong:
Stay consistent. Regular check-ins—texts, calls, hanging out—help maintain closeness.
Balance give and take. Healthy friendships involve both support and reciprocity.
Repair conflicts. Disagreements are normal. What matters is being willing to apologize, forgive, and move forward.
Respect boundaries. Everyone needs space at times. Honoring that keeps friendships healthy.
How to Be a Good Friend
Being a good friend is less about grand gestures and more about everyday actions. Research on social support shows that feeling truly understood by a friend is one of the most powerful predictors of relationship satisfaction (Reis et al., 2004).
Listen more than you talk. Sometimes the best support is simply being present.
Show empathy. Try to see things from your friend’s perspective.
Celebrate wins and comfort losses. Being there in both good and hard times deepens trust.
Encourage growth. Good friends support each other’s goals and push each other toward healthier choices.
Other Helpful Guidelines for Friendships
Quality over quantity. Having one or two close friends often matters more than having a large social circle.
Online friendships can be real friendships. Digital connections can be meaningful, but balance them with in-person interactions for deeper bonds.
Friendships change and that’s okay. As you grow, your needs and values shift. Some friendships fade while others strengthen. This is a normal part of life.
Know when a friendship isn’t healthy. If a friendship is consistently one-sided, controlling, or harmful, it’s okay to set boundaries or step away.
Holding On to Hope
Making and keeping friends can be challenging, especially in the teen and young adult years when so much else is changing. But remember: friendships don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. By showing up with openness, kindness, and patience, you give yourself (and others) the chance to build meaningful connections that last.
Friendship is one of the most important “life skills” we ever learn. And like any skill, it gets stronger the more we practice.
