Why Growing Up Takes Longer Now: Understanding Extended Adolescence

If you’ve noticed that young adults today seem to take longer to “launch” into full independence, you’re not imagining it. Many are delaying milestones like finishing school, living on their own, or starting a family. Psychologists call this phase extended adolescence (sometimes called emerging adulthood).

It’s not a failure or a flaw, it’s a developmental stage that reflects how our culture, economy, and life expectancy have changed. But while extended adolescence can provide valuable time for self-discovery, it also brings unique mental health challenges.

What Extended Adolescence Looks Like

Traditionally, adulthood was marked by clear milestones in the late teens or early twenties. Today, more people are:

• Staying in school longer.

• Living with parents into their 20s.

• Delaying marriage and parenthood.

• Exploring jobs, relationships, and identities before committing to one path.

Psychologist Jeffrey Arnett (2000) identified this new phase as emerging adulthood — a time of exploration, but also uncertainty.

The Mental Health Side of Extended Adolescence

While this stage can be exciting, it’s also emotionally complex:

• Anxiety and Depression
  Uncertainty about the future can fuel stress. Studies show young adults often experience high levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness during this period, especially if they feel “behind” their peers (Schulenberg & Schoon, 2012).

• ADHD and Executive Functioning
  For those with ADHD, extended adolescence can be especially difficult. Challenges with planning, organization, and self-regulation may delay independence further. Without support, young adults with ADHD are at higher risk of academic setbacks, job instability, and low self-esteem (Barkley, 2015).

• Identity and Self-Worth
  Social media can intensify feelings of inadequacy, as young adults compare their “in-between” stage to peers who appear to have it all figured out. This comparison can heighten depression and social anxiety.

• Family Stress
  Parents may struggle to balance supporting their young adult while also encouraging independence. Conflict around money, boundaries, or responsibility is common.

Supporting Mental Health in Extended Adolescence

Extended adolescence doesn’t have to mean stagnation. With the right support, it can be a period of growth and resilience-building. Here’s what helps:

• Normalize the experience: Young adults often feel like they’re “behind.” Reassure them that this stage is common and valid.

• Encourage skill-building: Therapy, coaching, or mentorship can help develop time management, emotional regulation, and financial skills.

• Therapeutic support: Evidence-based therapies like CBT can address anxiety, depression, and ADHD symptoms while building coping strategies.

• Balance support and independence: Parents can act as a “safety net” without rescuing — offering encouragement while fostering autonomy.

• Community and connection: Encouraging friendships, volunteering, or support groups helps combat isolation and strengthens identity.

The Takeaway

Extended adolescence is a normal developmental phase in today’s world but it can also heighten vulnerability to anxiety, depression, and ADHD related struggles. Far from being a sign of weakness, seeking support during this stage is a sign of strength.

With the right tools and guidance, young adults can use this extra time not as a delay, but as a foundation for a healthier, more intentional adulthood.

References

• Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469–480.

• Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.

• Schulenberg, J. E., & Schoon, I. (2012). The transition to adulthood across time and space: Overview of special section. Longitudinal and Life Course Studies, 3(2), 164–172.