🌱 Transitions by William Bridges: Making Peace with Change
How to Navigate Life’s Ups and Downs with Compassion and Clarity
Change is inevitable. Whether it’s the end of a relationship, the beginning of a new job, a move, a loss, or even something joyful like becoming a parent—change comes for all of us.
But why does even positive change feel so uncomfortable? And why do we so often resist the very growth we long for?
In his timeless book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, author and organizational consultant William Bridges offers a compassionate and psychologically grounded answer:
Change is external. But transition is internal.
🔄 The Big Idea: Change vs. Transition
According to Bridges:
Change is what happens to us: a job loss, a new partner, a health diagnosis, a global event.
Transition is what happens within us as we adjust: the inner emotional, psychological, and spiritual process of letting go, waiting, and becoming.
Transitions take time, often longer than we expect or want. And understanding the process can make the difference between getting stuck and moving forward with meaning.
🌊 The Three Phases of Transition
Bridges outlines a simple but powerful three-stage model for personal transitions:
1. The Ending
Every transition begins with an ending—even if it doesn’t feel like it.
We must first let go of the old identity, routine, or role that once defined us.
This phase can bring:
Grief and loss
Fear and uncertainty
Resistance to letting go (“But I was good at that job… Who am I without it?”)
A sense of disorientation
💡 Therapeutic insight: Many people try to skip this phase—but true healing and growth begin when we honor what we’re leaving behind.
2. The Neutral Zone
This is the in-between time—when the old is gone but the new isn’t yet formed.
It can feel uncomfortable, lonely, confusing… but it’s also ripe with potential.
Think of it like winter: a quiet, fallow season where seeds are germinating beneath the surface.
This phase often includes:
A sense of “not knowing who I am right now”
Creative tension or restlessness
Inner reflection and identity work
A need for rest and slowing down
🧘 Evidence-based support: This stage is often when therapy, mindfulness, journaling, or spiritual practices become most powerful. It’s where we metabolize change into transformation.
3. The New Beginning
Eventually, a new identity or sense of direction emerges. It might be gradual or sudden, fragile or fierce.
This phase brings:
Renewed energy
Clarity of purpose
A new sense of self
Re-engagement with the world
💡 Reminder: New beginnings often come with a mix of excitement and anxiety. It’s okay to move slowly and allow the new path to take shape over time.
📚 Research & Psychological Roots
Bridges’ work aligns with a variety of psychological frameworks, including:
Grief theory (Kubler-Ross, Worden): Transitions are micro-grief processes—letting go of what was
Attachment theory: We often grieve not just events, but identities and relationships that gave us security
Narrative therapy: In transitions, we are re-authoring the story of who we are
Resilience research: Transition offers a chance to build post-traumatic growth and inner strength
🛠️ Practical Tools for Navigating Transitions
Here are a few therapeutic tools inspired by Transitions:
1. Name the Ending
Write a letter or journal entry about what you’re leaving behind. Thank it. Grieve it. Let it go.
“I release the version of me who was trying to hold it all together…”
2. Stay Present in the Neutral Zone
Instead of rushing, ask:
What am I learning here?
What do I need right now?
Who am I becoming?
Meditation, nature, and creative expression can help anchor you here.
3. Gently Welcome the New Beginning
When glimmers of hope or excitement return, let them grow. You don’t need to have it all figured out.
“This is unfamiliar, but it feels like me.”
💬 In the Therapy Room
Therapists often notice clients struggling not with change itself—but with the liminal space between who they were and who they’re becoming.
Someone grieving a breakup might ask, “Who am I without this person?”
A new parent might feel lost in identity shift
A career pivot may spark imposter syndrome or fear of failure
Bridges’ model provides a compassionate framework that validates these feelings and encourages self-trust through the unknown.
🌟 Final Thoughts
Transitions aren’t linear. They don’t follow our schedules. But when we learn to recognize their stages, we start to see them as invitations—not punishments.
William Bridges gently reminds us that disorientation is part of becoming. That every new self requires the death of an old one. And that the messy middle is not a detour—it’s where the deepest growth takes place.
“It isn't the changes that do you in, it's the transitions.”
— William Bridges
✨ For Clients & Readers
Read Transitions by William Bridges (or the updated version co-authored with Susan Bridges)
Try journaling with these prompts:
“What am I letting go of right now?”
“Where do I feel stuck in the neutral zone?”
“What might a new beginning look like for me?”
Seek support from a therapist who understands life-stage and identity work
