“Girl, Whatever” When You’re Chill on the Outside and Spiraling on the Inside

You know the moment; you toss your hair, grab your iced coffee, roll your eyes, and say, “Girl, whatever.” It’s the ultimate chill mood on TikTok. But in real life, “girl whatever” can sometimes mean “I’m overwhelmed but pretending I’m fine.”

Many people who appear calm and confident on the outside are actually dealing with high-functioning anxiety, a form of anxiety where you keep performing, achieving, and holding it together, even when you feel stressed or panicked underneath.

That’s because our brains learn to suppress emotions to stay composed, a habit known as emotional suppression. The problem? Emotions don’t disappear, they resurface as tension, irritability, sleep issues, or racing thoughts.

🌿 Evidence-Based Ways to Calm Anxiety (and Actually Feel Okay)

1. Name What You Feel

Research in affective neuroscience shows that labeling emotions reduces activity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear center.
Try saying, “I feel anxious about work today” instead of “I’m fine.”
Naming it helps your brain begin to regulate it.

2. Use Your Breath to Calm Your Nervous System

Deep breathing isn’t just hype — it activates your vagus nerve, which shifts your body into the parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) state.
Try the 4-2-6 method:
Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2, exhale for 6.
Repeat three times. You’ll literally tell your body, “We’re safe.”

3. Reduce Anxiety Triggers: Caffeine & Doomscrolling

Caffeine raises cortisol, your body’s stress hormone. Add in social-media overstimulation, and your mind stays in alert mode all day.
Swap one coffee for water, and take one short walk instead of scrolling. (Your nervous system will thank you.)

4. Practice Radical Permission

Allow yourself to be both: confident and anxious, productive and tired, strong and uncertain.
This self-acceptance reduces inner conflict and builds emotional resilience, a key skill in anxiety recovery.

5. Ground Yourself in the Present

Evidence from somatic therapy shows that grounding the body helps reduce anxiety symptoms.
Try this:

• Press your feet into the floor

• Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear

• Take a slow exhale
  These sensory anchors remind your body that the threat isn’t here — it’s in your thoughts, and you can release it.

The Takeaway: Real Calm Beats Fake Chill

“Girl whatever” might sound confident, but emotional wellness isn’t about pretending to be fine, it’s about actually feeling okay.
You can be chill and anxious, calm and healing. The real flex is knowing the difference.

Ready to Feel Better, For Real?

If you’re tired of acting “fine” while anxiety runs the show, therapy can help you create calm that lasts.
At 616 Counseling in Grand Rapids, Michigan, we help clients manage high-functioning anxiety, stress, and emotional burnout using evidence-based therapy — CBT, mindfulness, and nervous-system regulation techniques.

Schedule a consultation today to start feeling grounded, not just “whatever.”