You’re Not Crazy: How to Advocate for Yourself When Doctors Say “It’s All in Your Head”
I just spent some of the most stressful and exhausting few weeks of my life living through the gaslighting and manipulation of our medical system. If you’ve ever left a doctor’s office feeling like your symptoms were being dismissed, ignored, or chalked up to “just stress,” you’re not alone and you’re definitely not crazy. Many people with complex or invisible medical conditions experience exactly this. Fatigue, dizziness, digestive issues, chronic pain, or heart palpitations can be real, measurable, and impactful, even if standard tests don’t capture them right away.
The good news? There are ways to advocate for yourself that are effective, respectful, and empowering. You can get your concerns taken seriously without losing your cool or your mind.
Did I lose my cool? Maybe.
Did I lose my mind? Almost.
I would like to help you know better and do better with this very challenging situation.
1. Track What’s Happening
Doctors respond to data. And no, this doesn’t mean you’re obsessively journaling your life, though you might end up with a quirky little spreadsheet you secretly love.
Symptom log: Note what happens, when, how long it lasts, and what makes it better or worse.
Medication & supplement tracker: Include doses, timing, and any side effects.
Previous test results: Labs, imaging, or notes from other specialists.
Evidence in hand makes it harder for anyone to dismiss what you’re experiencing and makes you feel more in control.
2. Speak Up With Clear, Neutral Language
Your frustration is valid. But a little finesse goes a long way in making your voice heard.
Instead of: “You never listen to me!”
Try: “I’ve noticed these symptoms continue despite following prior recommendations. Can we explore other possible causes together?”
This communicates collaboration, not conflict and collaboration wins more than shouting matches in the exam room.
3. Name the Experience Without Blame
It can feel like gaslighting when your reality is minimized or invalidated. You can gently acknowledge that feeling while staying factual:
“Sometimes I feel like my symptoms are being attributed to stress or anxiety. I understand that’s part of the picture, but I want to make sure we’re also exploring potential medical causes.”
This is powerful. It signals, “I know what I feel is real” without putting the provider on the defensive.
4. Bring Evidence And Allies
Sometimes, a second opinion or supporting evidence can change the conversation.
Bring notes from previous specialists or research from reputable sources.
Ask if you can be referred to a specialist who deals with your type of symptoms.
Bring a trusted support person to appointments for note-taking or emotional backup.
Science and solidarity together? Hard to ignore.
5. Know Your Rights
You are entitled to:
Access your medical records
Ask for referrals or second opinions
Switch providers if your concerns continue to be dismissed
Documenting interactions respectfully protects you if you need to escalate your concerns and it reinforces that you’re a serious participant in your own care.
6. Validate Yourself Because You’re Not Crazy
Being dismissed repeatedly can make anyone doubt themselves. Remember:
Your symptoms are real, even if standard tests don’t show them yet.
Feeling frustrated or anxious about being dismissed is normal.
Seeking support from therapists, patient advocates, or supportive friends is not weakness, it’s strategy.
Self-care is advocacy too. Breathing exercises, journaling, movement, or connecting with someone who listens can keep you grounded.
Final Thoughts
Advocating for yourself in healthcare is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier with practice. You can communicate clearly, present evidence, and stay calm, all while validating your own experience. You deserve to be heard, believed, and taken seriously.
So the next time a provider says “it’s all in your head,” remember: you’re not crazy, you’re not imagining this, and your voice matters.
